Many of us have heard of culture shock and talk about it, but many of us experience reverse culture shock and do not talk about it. But, what is a reverse culture shock? If you have ever gone back to your home country and felt uncomfortable with something that you used to be familiar with, then you are experiencing it, and don’t worry, you’re not alone! And if you have ever wondered how that could be possible, then you’re at the right place!
Just to tell you a little bit about myself, I am a business student and I came to U of I in Fall 2015. I’m originally from Indonesia but I have grown up in Singapore (since I was 5) and moved to Tacoma, WA for a year before coming to Champaign. I remember my first winter break in 2015. It’s especially significant to me because I have not gone back home ever since I got to the States – yes, I have not seen my family for almost two years! So when I met my parents and friends in Singapore for the first time in what-seems-like-forever, I was so emotional and I realized I missed home more than I’d ever thought. I was chatting with my parents about everything, I was setting up meetups with old friends whom I haven’t seen in a long time either, and I was planning out my route to eat all the good food I’ve grown up with.
At first, I was in the honeymoon phase. I looked around and marveled at the developments of my home, and my heart ached as I go through the places of my childhood, wondering if they ever missed me like I missed them. Talking to old friends and asking what has changed made me so moved as well – the girls entering college, and the boys entering the army. It just blew my mind how much has changed in the short period of time I was gone, and it is always so encouraging to see your friends move on to do the greater things that they’re passionate about.
But just like how a culture shock would be, usually after the honeymoon phase, you would experience a crisis that hit you quite a bit. The word crisis probably sounded a lot more serious than it has to be, but the first crisis that I encountered was when I was walking through a mall to get to a dessert place to hang out with my friends, I had to walk through big swamps of people and I had to fight through the crowd without anyone attempting to make way for me. “Am I really that invisible?” I complained to my friends, and they laughed. But as they laughed, it hit me that none of them complained about it, and I wouldn’t have either two years ago. It was such an out of body experience for me, to realize that I was “suddenly claustrophobic” and needed a lot of personal space and I spent the rest of the evening pondering why I had felt the way I did.
I realized it was because when we first came to America, or a new country really, and we lived there for a longer period of time not as a tourist, we also be going through the same thing – first the honeymoon phase that made us feel so magical since we’re finally in America living the dream! We were over the moon and couldn’t believe that we’re here. All the happiness from venturing into new territory until we’re hit with a crisis, stopping us at our tracks when we realized some of the values we held and practices we did at home are not the same as what other people do here. We suddenly felt like we don’t belong and we could get homesick and we experience the shock. But the good news is, with every crisis, we adapt. This stage is called recovery – when we see the differences and we learn to understand and adapt our lives accordingly. This brings us to the final stage, adjustment, where we have picked up on the social cues and are living as one with the rest. You’d feel more at rest and more comfortable the new environment.
But that also meant, some of your old habits have been altered as well. That’s why it’s not surprising why we could feel so foreign in our home land. The good news is, though, that like culture shock, you could also learn to recover and adjust to home again. And usually, the second-time around is a lot more intuitive because… it’s home – it’s supposed to be easy and familiar. And the truth of the matter is that there will be some values your home culture holds that you might not agree with entirely anymore, but that’s okay because going abroad and learning a new culture helps you see a broader perspective. There are many times I will have discussions with my family about certain things I disagree with them about, but all out of love, because I was given the privilege to see more parts of the world than they have. They are usually very receptive towards my new ideas and in a way, I was helping them to see the world that they’ve given me.
We all grow from experiences – the comfortable and uncomfortable ones – and some of us probably don’t even realize that we go through these four stages whenever we move to somewhere new. But I think culture shock is not necessarily a bad thing because it signifies growth, flexibility, and maturity on your part. And now that you’re more aware of what reverse culture shock is, I hope you won’t be very shocked in the future.
