As I head toward graduation, distant career plans and medical school applications draw eerily near. What were once hypothetical “what ifs”, are now concrete steps I have taken toward my future.
Since I applied for college during my junior year in high school, I meticulously planned each step. After all, applying to medical school is an arduous process that requires years of preparation. I pride myself on having completed so many of the steps successfully and efficiently. However, I discovered I made one crucial mistake: I was too efficient.
Efficiency, in moderation, is a valuable trait. It encourages productivity and reduces procrastination, but if you let efficiency dictate your life, things can quickly become hectic. In my case, I planned each step, living my life by my planner and having little to no flexibility. I would simultaneously consider what I had to complete while anticipating the next steps. I become consumed by deadlines and academics. This final straw made me realize, I had gotten too greedy with efficiency.
I began to see each task as something requiring instant completion, even if the deadline was a week away. I became paranoid about everything I had to complete, double- and even triple-checking due dates in fear of turning in an assignment late. I seemed distracted and would jump from task to task, mentally checking off a to-do list. What was once my virtue became a vice.
I never thought I would be this way. For many years, I was an extreme procrastinator. During high school, I completed a research paper in one night, staying up until 4 a.m. before the deadline because I had let the days slip by. From that night on, I vowed to stop procrastinating and to improve my time management.
Alas, here I am now, too efficient. I never anticipated this could be a problem until I noticed it started to affect my relationships. I began scheduling people into my month or skipping hangouts altogether because of my fixation on completing assignments early. I became obsessed with the due dates, and unfortunately, I felt consumed by my tasks.
What once was my best friend had become my enemy. The pendulum swung from being a procrastinator to being overly efficient.
So, what comes next? The first step was recognizing that I have let efficiency take over my life.
Now that I have accepted it, I’ve decided (slowly yet surely) to regain some freedom. My goal for the rest of the year (but also being lenient with myself if I miss a day) is to start journaling. I feel this will help me externalize my thoughts and feelings to see if there are any notable patterns in my behaviors.
The final step is to put my observations into action. While journaling will allow me to reflect on my behaviors, modifying my actions will ensure I do not fall into my previous habits. Rather than strictly scheduling each item of my day, I will promise myself time to read my Bible or take walks outdoors.
As I embark on my journey of self-reflection, I have learned that efficiency is a wonderful trait, but it is essential to take a moment to breathe and appreciate life. Life is too short to revolve around deadlines.
