Carol Sohns (mother) is a Librarian Assistant at the Mahomet Public Library. She has degrees in business administration and as a ParaLegal. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, walking and playing Words with Friends. She has been married to her husband, Mark, for the past 31 years.
Tara Sohns (daughter) is an incoming senior double majoring in Political Science and English. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with her best friends, trying out local coffee shops, and listening to too much Harry Styles. Post-graduation, she hopes to attend law school on the east coast.
A Parent’s Perspective: Freshman year is difficult for many students. They are navigating a new environment with a new sense of independence. Along with that comes homesickness, meeting friends, and finding out where they belong in the scheme of things. As a parent of an only child, I supported my freshman daughter by listening to her and letting her know her family was always there for her. We listened to her fears and her disappointments and kept reminding her we are always here for her. Sophomore year and junior year are much easier to navigate, but, that being said, it also offers a new set of challenges, including a more rigorous class schedule, trying to find internships, and juggling all of this while maintaining a social life beyond studying.
Challenges: I have found that one of the challenges in supporting my student is knowing when to and when not to offer advice. I am still working on this. We tend to feel our advice is warranted, and many times it is, but sometimes they just need to work through it themselves and use you as a sounding board. If you can, I would also suggest visiting the campus. This is a great opportunity to meet their friends and see all of the places and things that they text and talk with you about. Lastly, please know that they most likely will not be calling and texting you every day. They are busy and learning to be independent.
A Student’s Perspective: As a student whose hometown is 15 minutes away from campus, I’ve been fortunate to have my parents by my side throughout the college experience—quite literally. While having my parents close to campus has been a blessing, it has also made it more difficult to become independent. At the start of freshmen year, I tended to go home often because that was where I was most comfortable. By having this safety net, I had the support of my parents throughout the struggles of college, but I also had a difficult time making the final leap into independence. Having my family so close both helped and inhibited my transition to independence. Now, I find that I’m fortunate that I can grab lunch with my parents each weekend. I can tell them about my classes, internships, and more. When college becomes overwhelming, I am thankful to talk to my parents at lunch or over the phone.
My advice to parents of students is that even when it’s hard not to intervene in your student’s life: don’t. While you can offer advice to your student (understanding that your student most likely won’t follow it), you have to let them navigate and experience the world themselves. As a parent, you’re a safety net for your student when they make mistakes—whether it be skipping too many classes or having a little too much fun. By being your student’s safety net, they can explore the world without being scared of failure.
