It is important to remember money can be a difficult conversation topic any time; however, it can be particularly challenging during times of transition. How you deal with transitions, like a family member going to college, can seriously impact family finances. Regularly talking about money can help ease the transition.
You'll likely have conversations about money around things like FAFSA, financial aid award letters, entrance or exit counseling, and more, but you'll still want to have regular conversations about day-to-day spending since lifestyle choices can significantly increase the overall cost of education.
Create an open and safe environment where everyone feels heard. You can do this by using phrases such as: "What I am hearing you say", and "Would you mind explaining that again". Those phrases such as the ones outlines above help facilitate a fruitful conversation. Another great tip to create an open space is to write down everyone's thoughts! You may not have the ability to all be in the same room, so consider using video chat, which still allows you to see body language and facial expressions - particularly important when having a difficult conversation.
Remember everyone views money differently. Before beginning any difficult conversation, it is important to assess how your own feelings may impact the conversation. This allows you to process your thoughts before talking with others. Lastly, understand how your beliefs about money can help you discuss difficult choices and potential challenges.
Shared goals can be a great conversation starter! Talk about goals you have in regards to finances, and how you can support one another. Once mutually agreed upon goals have been identified, it is easier to re-evaluate financial goals early in the transitional period. You can then analyze potential changes in financial behaviors (like spending or saving) habits. A great way to get everyone involved is creating a shared spending plan that accounts for financial resources, priorities, & potential new spending.
There are multiple tools you can use to track expenses and spending habits. Talking about the tools that work well for you can be a good way to help your student learn how to stay accountable to the spending plan you create together. Regularly discussing progress towards financial goals and new spending habits is a great way to break down the barriers of having difficult conversations. Remember the more you discuss things in an open and safe environment, the easier it gets!
Ask clarifying questions and avoid discussion when you're angry, hungry, or lonely. Sometimes the stress of transitions can make it harder to have a conversation. A way to make a potentially stressful conversation easier is to not assume you know how another individual is feeling. Try not to have difficult conversations when you are already upset. You want to enter the conversation with a clear head space.
In conclusion, talking about finances is never easy, but discussing finances regularly can help you successfully navigate tough conversations!
Subscribe to the University of Illinois Student Money Management Center's parent e-newsletter to learn more about supporting students' financial well-being.